Session 45 Summary

The group return to camp to rest, and on the way they notice that they are being watched by some winged apes.  A couple are killed and a couple escape, and the impending arrival of the "Gorilla King", along with the suggestion that all hairless apes flee the city before it are told by one of the apes before it suicides.

The group then decides that the vault on the island in the center of the city is a primary destination and head in.  Paranoia once more strikes, and then a flytrap and some ooze mephits are killed before a couple more are dropped in a fight with the boss of the complex and his elemental guard.  The elemental is taken care off, but the boss escapes to another plane.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		189469	192469	189569	195219
2 Apes		1200	1200	1200	1200
Flytrap		2400	2400	2400	2400
6 Ooze Mephits		3600	3600	3600	3600
Elemental		3200	3200	3200	3200
End		199869	202869	199969	205619

Session 44 Summary

The Aspis consortium camp is teleporting murder squaded.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		179869	182869	179969	185619
Legionnaires		5600	5600	5600	5600
Boss		1600	1600	1600	1600
Ishiru		1200	1200	1200	1200
Girralons		1200	1200	1200	1200
Total		189469	192469	189569	195219

Session 43 Summary

The group enter the zombie croc's lair, and a little paranioa starts to spread.

They kill some boggard zombies and spiders and then return to camp to rest, return to sanity and go shopping.

The next day, as the group returned to the dungeon they see a woman and a man obviously fleeing something.  They kill the man and scare off the woman before killing a few men from the Aspis consirtium, who were the ones chasing the couple.  The group do manage to capture one of the Aspis men, who they blinded during the fight and get a little information from him.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		165469	168469	165569	171219
Kill Bogard Zombie Spidery things		4800	4800	4800	4800
Kill Spider		9600	9600	9600	9600
Legionnaires		3600	3600	3600	3600
End		179869	182869	179969	185619

Session 42 Summary

The group is ambushed by a few deathcap jumpers, kill a giant sea anemone (in a dungeon) and head back to camp to rest.

The group decide to take a day off for shopping, then 3 more days and eventualy head for another cavern.

The group starts buffing outside the dungeon and is attacked by a giant zombie crocodile, which is put back to death.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		153469	156469	153569	158119
Deathcap Jumpers		4800	4800	4800	4800
Elder Polyp		4800	4800	4800	4800
Croc		2400	2400	2400	2400
RP Journals		0	0	0	1100
End		165469	168469	165569	171219

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #19

The doctor looked at Ron on utter horror. “You ran that poor fellow through? Just like that? Murdered him?”

Ron nonchalantly waved the doctor away. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not like I killed a person.”

The doctor shook his head vigorously, “Of course he was, don’t pretend to think otherwise. You know damn well that the natives of this area are people just like you and me.”

Ron looked curiously at the doctor as if he had said something very wrong. “You and I aren’t a like…”

The doctor continued. “Yes well obviously, but you can’t say he wasn’t a person.”

Ron sighed. “Okay fine, I murdered that native, but it’s not like he didn’t provoke me.”

“Oh?” the doctor, “How exactly was that?”

“I don’t quite recall.” Said Ron, “He was very disrespectful … untrustworthy. Look it doesn’t matter, gee it’s not like its permanent. Go get twenty five grand and I’ll get the super fag to true resurrect him. Not a big deal really…”

Ron’s voice trailed off before he continued, “Look can I get it on to the next bit. You’ll like it.”

The doctor seemed far from pleased but nodded none the less.

“Well we got Helga to do some scrying and divinations. It was a great effort. We knew that Asian guy from the island was probably nearby somewhere… what was his name? Yoshi or something? Stupid foreign names. You know, Chink Eyes? Can you check your notes? You probably wrote it down. “

 

The doctor frowned. “Never mind Ron I know who you are talking about. Go on”

“Right. So we found him, we found the camp, we scouted it with an arcane eye and then …” Ron laughed to himself almost gleefully. “We dimension doored in. It was the first time we tried that manoeuvre, we call it the teleporting murder squad trick.”

“Right … “the doctor still sounded highly unimpressed.

“I admit I just wanted to teleport in amongst the barracks and start killing but Helga got all squeamish. You know, as girls tend to be. I think she thought it was amoral or something to just teleport in and starting killing. Not sure I agree but in the end I liked her proposal better.”

Ron laughed again. “Instead we teleported in and gave them a chance.”

Again Ron laughed, it was almost a giggle. “It was just brilliant. I said ‘Alright you bunch of fags you got two minutes to get out of this city.’”

Ron continued laughing to himself, wiping tears from his eyes. “I loved it, it was a choice, but not really a choice. We knew they would attack and attack they did. What a blood bath.”

Ron sat glaring at Ron before shaking his head. “So you killed them all?”

Ron nodded. “Pretty much, Chinky died, the guard died, the gorillons and even their brainless boss… and I mean brainless. Like he had no brain, the victim of Intellect Devourer no less.”

“I see. “ said the doctor, “You seem very pleased with yourself.”

Ron nodded. “Yep. They put up an alright fight mind you. Turned out Chinky was pretty damn good in a brawl almost killed Szariel. Szariel was majorly buffed too, his usual spells plus cat’s grace and one of Dorian’s Shield of Faith spells PLUS fighting in his usually defensive stance, but it was no good. Got minced.”

Ron sniggered again, “Dorian almost forgot to heal him, almost let him bleed out, but he managed to save him just in a nick of time.”

“Naturally I killed the lions share, including Chinky and the boss, it was beautiful. Everyone was happy. Spikey was happy, Toothie was happy we were just one big happy family.”

“Right…” the doctor wrote some more notes in his journal. “We’ll have to have a chat about Spikey and Toothie someday, I strongly suspect they steered you down a very dark path indeed.”

Ron brushed the doctor’s comments away. “Now now, be nice, my familiar and sword are pretty nice, once when you get to know them.”

“Yes yes” the doctor said. “So what happened next?”

“We looted of course, and then went to the prison cells, where all those natives were being held captive.”

“And?”

“We released them of course. What else would we do? Leave them to starve with their keys left just tantalising beyond their reach? Or perhaps sell them? I was just joking when I said all that”

Ron laughed once more before continuing “No No. The super fag took charge, gave them some pansy words and sent them on their way, offering them refuge in our camp. They seemed pretty frightened of me and gave me a wide berth, seemed they didn’t understand my sense of humour.”

The tutted to himself and kept writing notes.

Ron shook his head seriously. “They were lucky though that I’m so strong willed, because Toothie … and spiky for that matter were mighty keen for me to kill them.”

The doctor sighed and asked Ron “And you insist that infernal sword is ‘nice’.?”

Ron nodded. “Yeah sure. Its not her fault that some pervert created her with the sole purpose of killing everything she sees.”

Ron meets Spikey

Ron slept fitfully; the lump in his side had been growing larger causing him discomfort when ever he moved. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to force sleep by thinking of women, lately it had been Julliver, bending the dwarvish bitch over and giving it her.

A sharp series of stabbing pains from his side almost caused him to scream in pain. He reached his hand into his tunic and pressed his hand onto the place where it hurt. He felt something sharp like a number of needles sticking into his palm. He pulled his hand away in surprise and felt a sudden sense of foreboding. Was he sick ? Was something seriousily wrong with him?

What happened next was completely unexpected. Ron heard a slightly muffled though audible voice protesting from his side. “Yo fag, get those poofter hands off me.”

Ron sat bolt upright and pulled off his tunic. To his horror he saw a grotesque fleshly lump that vaguely resembled some kind of rodent sticking its head out of his abdomen. In an instant he grabbed it and threw it away from him, the creature hit the canvas of his tent and landed on the ground with a dull thud.

“You cock sucker!” It protested. “What the fuck do you think you’re doin?.”

Ron reached for his bed side tabled and grabbed the syringe of mutagen ready to inject himself.

“What the fuck dude. What’s with you? You been possessed by AJ or something?”

Ron hesitated, recognizing something familiar in the creature.

“That’s right Ron, I’m a part of you … kind of … “ said the creature.

Ron stared blankly at it until a glimmer of understanding came to him. He had heard of such manifestations before. Excessive alchemical drug and compound use can sometimes collect and form into a sentient creature, in many ways similar to a wizards familiar.

Ron relaxed and looked at the creature in more detail. He realized now that it looked more like a hedgehog.

“Fuck” said the hedgehog. “If you could just see your face, you look like a complete retard. Seriously, like down-syndrome retarded. I see I arrived at just the right time. Its time to set you straight.”

Ron cast a quick glance at the tent door. His tent was set up in the old military district of Saventh Yhe, within the massive garrison that they had taken from the monkey men. Outside a few feet away were the tents of his fellow adventuring companions. Ron wasn’t sure if he wanted them witnessing the exchange he was having with his new ‘friend.”

“Come on Ron,” said the hedgehog. “It’s a bit late to worry about the others hearing you. You should’ve thought about that before you threw me across the room. Besides the only person around here that doesn’t have super-tuned hearing is that super fag Dorian … but don’t worry we’re speaking ‘Ron-hog’ it’s a made up language that only we understand.”

Ron shook his head and lay back down on his bed. Fuck he thought, this was one serious flashback. He closed his eyes and tried to think of Julliver’s dwarven tits. (Come to think of it, he had never seen dwarven tits.) However the hedgehog persisted. “You’re thinking of that Julliver slut again aren’t you? Your pathetic. If that bitch says no to you, then you just kill the bitch okay.  Seriousily your too nice Ron. Why did you ever get her reincarnated anyway? She’s done nothing for you. Shit Ron, you’re lucky I’m here. You need someone around that says it like it is.”

Ron closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep.

“Yo Fag, don’t try to go to sleep on me…” the hedgehog suddenly stopped speaking and there was a long moment of silence.

Finally the hedgehog spoke. “What. The. Fuck. Is. That?”

Ron opened his eyes to see the tumour like familiar sitting on a pompous white wig. “Is this yours? Have you gone full fag?” The hedgehog said.

Ron shook his head and pulled it away from the hedgehog. “No its not. Its Dorian’s. I’m enchanting it…”

“You’re fucking what? That fag needs to die Ron. Get out there and kill him now.”

Ron shook his head. “No. Now let me sleep.”

“Well if you’re not going to kill him, you should piss that wig off. You’ve got your own shit that you need to make. Just tell that fag your enchantment failed. “

Ron shook his head. “No I promised him.”

“What??!!” the hedgehog nearly screamed. “ Who cares about promises? You rip that gay infested pansy wig up now before you catch homosexuality.”

Ron started to get angry. “Hey listen here hedgehog. If you’re a familiar then I’m the master, which means you need to do what I say. I said shut the fuck up.”

Ron swiped his mutagen syringe from his bedside table and threatened to inject himself.

The hedgehog backed away from Ron and started to protest. “Gee Ron settle down. Sorry to offend your bum chum. Hey if you want me to go so you can have some privacy when he comes over just say the word.”

Ron growled at the hedgehog.

“Hey I’m just kidding. I know that aint happening. Listen like I said I’m here to look out for you. These fags you travel with abuse you man. You’re too nice.  You’re always running first into danger, taking all the risks while they hang back and share the glory.”

Ron shook his head. “Shut up man. We’ve pretty much slaughtered this whole city, they have their uses.”

“Uses???” interrupted the hedgehog. “Are you serious, like what?”

Ron looked at the hedgehog with irritation. “Well Dorian heals us ...”

“Get a wand of healing.” The hedgehog cut in.

Ron glared at the hedgehog, “Wands cost money and take time to use… besides he’s getting more powerful, flamestrike, spiritual weapons, buff spells. They are all useful.”

The hedgehog rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Helga has taken many a powerful foe out with a single hex.”

The hedgehogs spat on the ground. “Bah, robbing you of a worthy victim. You don’t need her. Do yourself a favour, go over to her tent and kill her now.”

Ron ignored her. “Szariel grows mightier in battle and is a great source of knowledge…”

The hedgehog interrupted again. “No. No. No. Stop speaking now. You don’t need knowledge you need corpses and plunder. And what the hell do you mean growing mightier in battle? Are you saying after months of adventuring he is starting to learn how to fight? Are you suggesting that he’s getting as good as you?”

Ron wavered. “Well ... no but he’s effective in may ways…”

“By Iomedae’s perky breasts you are pathetic. Listen here, you need to lift your game. This is what you’re going to do. Tomorrow you are going to fish that Red Mantis Blade out of your backpack and start using it. It’s got heaps of powers and it has a piss weak personality. You never need to worry about it possessing you. And if even if it does, it just wants you to kill everything. So I see no downside.”

“You’re going to start spending all this gold you have and buy some decent magic items.”

“Finally no more being nice. No more reincarnating sluts that don’t put out or saving useless adventurers that get turned to stone. Do you understand?”

Ron nodded, if only to make the hedgehog shut up.

“Good. Now get some sleep.”

The hedgehog started to waddle out of the tent.

“Where are you going?” Ron asked

The hedgehog sniggered. “I’m going to have a little perv of that Juliver slut, while she sleeps.”

Session 41 Summary

Paranoia abounds as the group discover a secret area in their cave system.

Returning to camp, the group rest for 2 days.

They then return to the vault and identify the entrances to the other vaults, where the group assumes the six crystals they believe they need to activate the portal will be found.

The vegepygmy vault is decided on as the next destination, and is entered, with some throny cave lions and basinironds killed.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		148669	151669	148769	153319
Thorny Cave Lions		2400	2400	2400	2400
Basidironds		2400	2400	2400	2400
End		153469	156469	153569	158119

Session 40 Summary

The party get their loot on int eh Radiant Muse's house, and then continue exploring the human district.  They are able to kill 3 basilisks, and use the blood of the creatures to return Helga to flesh, as well as three random people.  Then back to camp to relax for a bit, rest overnight and agree to help Juliver track down her friends and the magic portal.

Tracking Juliver back to a cave proved to be relatively simple, and 14 ketches are killed, a stone golem is destroyed, and a bunch of Sabosans are convinced to flee their home.

Dorian then moves to the fore and sets off a magical trap, killing Juliver, almost destroying several of Szraiel's magical items and almost killing himself and Szraiel.  Helga, on fire, dimension doors into a nearby stream to put herself out, and general hilarity ensues from the firestorm trap.


Finally, a giant slug is put to rest.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		137069	140069	137169	141219
3 basilisks		1200	1200	1200	1200
6 ketches		1200	1200	1200	1200
8 more ketches		1600	1600	1600	1600
Stone Golem		3200	3200	3200	3200
Trap		3200	3200	3200	3200
Giant Slug		1200	1200	1200	1200
RP - Journal		0	0	0	500
End		148669	151669	148769	153319

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #18

Ron shook his head, and continued talking, his mannerism was just a little too animated and it was clear to the doctor that Ron had been taking something.

“Well that snake bitch fled and we looted the corpse of the traitorous druid. I’m still not clear on why we were attacked, reckon she was on her rags. Filthy slag.”

“Anyway, to teach her lesson we ransacked her house, took anything we could sell and then went off and killed her pet basilisks. They were weak as piss and didn’t last long, there was a minor hiccup with Helga getting turned into stone. But Szariel stepped up with some obscure trivia about basilisks, if you smear their blood all over a petrified person it reverses the process. Turned out to be true…” Ron sniggered to himself.” It was kind of fun slicing them up and bleeding them dry. We saved Helga and had enough blood to save some of the other victims that were there. We choose the non-native types and …”

The doctor almost apologetically raised a hand to interrupt. “So why the non native types?”

Ron paused with a mild look of surprise, as if the answer should’ve be obvious before continuing with his story.

“We choose the non-native types and  told them to head back to our camp for protection. That was out of the goodness of our hearts too, saving them statue people, we could’ve just looted them instead but no. We saved them. As I’ve been telling you, we are practically a party of paladins.”

The doctor rolled his eyes, “Yes Ron if you say so.”

“So we took those pathetic fools back to our camp and went to see Julliver, that crazy feebleminded bitch we rescued. She’d finally gathered her senses enough to explain what happened to her, which quite frankly was very vague. She did yammer on a fair bit and I got distracted by her tits. Long story short, she escaped from some place … another city I think, through a magical portal and left her friends behind. She wanted us to help her to go and rescue them, which was fine by me. I didn’t even ask for a reward.”

Ron sent a beaming almost angelic smile to the doctor. “See again that’s the Paladin stuff for you.”

“Anyway, she wanted us to track her feebleminded journey back to wherever she came from. So that’s what we did. It was easy and we found an open door in a cliff that went into underground cave system. Inside were all sorts of things waiting to be killed; mostly those pathetic ketches (though Szariel seemed to cop a beating from them).  We discovered that they had invaded the complex and were at war with some weird looking bat race. “

“The bat race were just as pathetic, we spoke to them and tried to get some information but they were too dim witted to give an accurate account of the place. I told them not to bother speaking anymore and that we were going to search the place on our own and don’t get in our way.”

“So they pretty much fled the place. And there you go doc, paladin act number three. No slaughter of bat people.”

“After that there was golem, which I bombed into oblivion and giant slug which we diced. That bloody slug got me good though, bit globule of acid.”

“Finally we found something interesting, a room with a painting of the city of that we were in, except it was from a long time ago. It also depicted a painting with a seven gem stones around. Anyway we were pondering what it meant when bloody Dorian had to rub his poofter hands all over it. Set of a nasty trap. Fire rained down upon us, and it hurt too. Almost burnt Dorian into a crisp and Szariel too who really seemed to be caught off guard despite his professed specialty in being trap resistant. The fire kept burning too, I managed to put the fires out on Dorian, however Szariel almost died. Seemed his reflexes weren’t as good as he thought, lucky for him he had a few bardic tricks to save him. Even his kukri almost melted, though I think he was secretly pleased because he had made the effort to put an impervious enchantment on his kukri.”

“Oh and almost forgot to mention, that slut Julliver died. Stupid bitch, she was awfully rude to me all the time and refused to do anything sexual with me. Served her right, but lucky for her my paladin code kept me honest and I told everyone that we would bring her back, but no raise dead spell, I wanted a reincarnate spell. She needed to be taught a lesson and hopefully she would come back as something ugly with a low self esteem. And there you go, Paladin act number four. “

Session 39 Sumamry

After resting, the group head for the human encampment to talk.

They fight the radiant muse and the druid, killing the druid.  The blinded radiant muse manages to escape.

 

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		135869	138869	135969	140019
Druid		1200	1200	1200	1200
End		137069	140069	137169	141219

Session 38 Summary

mass combat, slaying 50 or so lizardfolk.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		118469	121469	118569	122619	97719
50 lizardfolk		15000	15000	15000	15000
Boss		2400	2400	2400	2400
Total		135869	138869	135969	140019	97719

Session 37 Summary

The group returned to camp to rest and shop, then went on with their adventuring ways.

They encountered a Hezrou in a jar, freed it, chased it off then managed to catch it and kill it.

The froghemouth was prodded with a summoned orca, then put to sleep and dispatched.

Further rest as well as a donation made to the camps researchers followed, then on to the serpentfolk section of town where a poor, defenseless bogart oracle was encoundered, blinded, deafened and looted before being left alone.  Apparently a "good" act, leaving it alive to suffer.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		105669	108669	105769	109819	97719
Hezrou		3200	3200	3200	3200
Defeat Farming District		1600	1600	1600	1600
Froghemouth		6400	6400	6400	6400
Boggart Oracle		1200	1200	1200	1200
8 Zombies		400	400	400	400
End		118469	121469	118569	122619	97719

Session 36 Summary

An Aboleth was blinded, hunted down and killed, although AJ was killed and his body lost in the process.  Juliver, the random female discovered had her feeblemind lifted, and that night an undead ambush was fought off by the group.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		94609	97609	94709	98259	95159
Aboleth		2560	2560	2560	2560	2560
RP - Heal Juliver		3200	3200	3200	3200
2 mumies		800	800	800	800
4 wights		800	800	800	800
8 ghasts		1200	1200	1200	1200
Boggard Chief		1600	1600	1600	1600
Boggard Patrol		900	900	900	900
RP - Journal					500
End		105669	108669	105769	109819	97719

Session 35 Summary

The group kill a giant, many coloured bird, follwed by some fireballing trogladytes and some gibbering mouthers. 

The group then returned to the camp to rest, and had a day off crafting as well as aquiring a transvestite hooker for Ron.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		91569	94569	91669	95219	92119
Camulatz		1280	1280	1280	1280	1280
6 Trogs		480	480	480	480	480
4 Gibbering Mouthers		1280	1280	1280	1280	1280
End		94609	97609	94709	98259	95159

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #17

Doctor Monroe sat listening to Ron with a less than pleased expression on his face. So far Ron and pretty much ignored all of his probing questions. Instead Ron babbled on with an uncomfortable amount of pride about his exploits in the ancient ruined city.

“You see, at first the inhabitant of each district put up a good fight, but as we progressed I think our reputation preceded us. We started encountering token resistance while the rest of the population disappeared into hiding. Sure there were the arrogant and the stupid that met us in battle, but the common folk, the grunts and infantry seemed to have better sense. Scattering to the four winds.”

The doctor opened his mouth as if to comment but Ron pressed on with his story.

“But the snake people. Oh it was glorious. I’d been wanting to kill those fuckers for some time, but Szariel kept objecting, fearing the centre of the city would be the greatest challenge. Oh how wrong he was. At first we skulked around, island hoping to avoid main island but eventually I put my foot down. No more girlie business. Szariel was unusually quiet that day and he didn’t put up the usual objections.”

“So we flew straight there, first we discovered a weird building shaped like a giant snake egg, we went in prepared for a battle but found it deserted. Just rags and butchered body bits. Next we went to the spire, via the main promenade and sure enough we found them.”

“There were fifty of the fuckers all lined up in a military parade listening to some human looking sorcerer who claimed to be their god. He spoke with way too much zeal and said ‘Zieg Heil’ an awful lot.”

“So there we were 5 of us, against 50 of the ancient snake people. The very same that once ruled these lands. As brazen as you like we started walking up the promenade until we were  spotted. Their hyperventilating ‘god’ almost had a brain aneurysm as he cursed and demanded our heads.”

Ron laughed to himself in glee, he almost had dreamy look on his face.

“And then it was on. Most of them started running straight to us. I waited long enough to for a good hope spell and a blessing of fervor and then I went at them. You see, knowing the snake people would be a common adversary I had taken the time to craft myself a special amulet of snake people bane. It worked a treat and I cut swath from them.”

Ron looked at the doctor. “Now I know what you are thinking, these snake people were just like most other humanoid races right? Where the common grunt is easy to kill right? Well no, they’re not like human, elves or goblins. They are not easy to run through, even for me I would need to hit them 2 to 3 times. But that did not stop me,  oh no. “

“I left a path of dead snake people, right up to where their ‘god’ was waiting. I think only one of them managed to lay a hand on me, but he was impaled upon my thorn body spell for his troubles. How truly pathetic they were, they even resorted to doing some kind of drunken mime artist maneuver, dodging this way and that trying to avoid me from maiming them. Heh. I don’t think I missed once. ”

The doctor cleared his throat. “Well um Ron, as much as I love hearing how proficient you are at taking sentient life, surely it was not all your heroics that won the day.”

Ron scoffed. “Not far off of doctor, but hey I know my place in this world. I don’t pretend to think I am invincible. But since you asked … let me think. Helga. Well she summoned two hound archons that quite ably managed to distract two platoons of snake people. In case you don’t know, hound archons are kind of like half angels and half Labradors. I’ll leave it to your imagination to how they came about. Anyway the only thing that kept them alive was their angel skin that these stupid snake people struggled to penetrate.  Helga also threw some lightning bolts around to soften them up a bit and she kept their ‘god’ busy by soaking up some spells while I cut my way towards him.”

“Dorian, well he flitted and pranced about the place in his usual homo way. Used a wind wall to help screen himself from javelins and juggled a handful spiritual weapons around the place. The sorcerer god had spell resistance and he had a torrid time getting through it. Also threw in a flame strike at one point and dispel led the ‘gods’ shield spell.  Oh and some emergency healing for Szariel and Helga as well.”

“Szariel, well after his good hope spell, he showed off a newly acquired spell. A wall of sound that surrounded one of the platoons, but they just marched through it, took a cacophony of sound blasts in the process which weakened them enough for one the Labrador angels to stand a chance in killing some. He also showed off his new rod of intensify, blasting a few snake people with another one of his sound blast spells. After that it was pansy arrow time, he’s not bad mind you for a part-time archer, it just that he needed about  4 or 5 shots take out a snakeman where I did it in 2 or 3. Eventually the snake people got close to him and hurt him bad, so he scuttled of into the distance to save himself and tried sniping snake people from a great range.”

“Gelik, will he did exactly what we expected of him. Funny jokes and an invisibility spell. Worked a treat. He’s a good boy my little buddy.”

The doctor nodded. “I see. And AJ?”

Ron looked momentarily confused. “Oh didn’t I tell you? We misplaced him. Woke up one day and realised he was missing. We then remembered we left him asleep underwater. He had a dominate spell on him and couldn’t be trusted to be awake. This was back when we were fighting the underwater fish illusionist. When we went back he wasn’t there anymore. His sleep would have run out way before his underwater breathing spell ran out, so we’re pretty sure he didn’t drown. Stupid fool probably wandered off somewhere in his ensorcelled state.”

Ron shrugged. “These things happen.”

The doctor sighed and shook his head, writing something down in his notebook. “And the god? Did you kill him.”

Ron nodded. “Mostly though Helga stole my kill. Stupid hag. Anyway I reamed him good. Death by bombs. It’s the way of new magic doc. While Dorian struggled battling spell resistance, I suffer no such thing with my bombs. Oh how wizards of old must roll in their graves. Bang bang bang. I’d just learned how to prime and deliver my bombs with greater speed, thanks to Dorian’s blessing of fervor I could throw a torrent of bombs in a blink of any eye. The poor snake god never stood a chance. He was left teetering, Szariel from afar tried to snipe him but missed … Dorian missed with his spiritual weapon but Helga got him with her Ice Tomb hex, she didn’t trap him but he died from the avalanche of ice anyway.

Session 34 Summary

The huge brawl turns out to involve less trogs than expected, and a few more patrols worth are put down.  Proceeding to the ziggurat, the party come across a boss trog and a few of his cronies, including a couple of dinosaurs.  These pesky intruders upon the party's domain are put quickly to the sword, or the tooth and claw, or the whatever, and the group proceed to try to investigate a fortress area, only to find themselves unable to enter.

Instead, they wander off and encounter some ghosts, who manage to convince both AJ and Dorian that everyone is out to get them, before the four ghosts are smashed down.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		83089	86089	83189	86739	83639
3 Trog Patrols		2880	2880	2880	2880	2880
4 Ghosts		800	800	800	800	800
Trog Boss		1920	1920	1920	1920	1920
2 Deinonycuses		480	480	480	480	480
2 acolytes		480	480	480	480	480
Conquer the trog district		1920	1920	1920	1920	1920
End		91569	94569	91669	95219	92119

Session 33 Summary

The group manage to kill an old hag, rest for a couple of days back at the camp and start poking at the troglodyte district, where they kill off some giant preying mantises and a few trogs, buyt look to be starting another massive brawl.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		78129	81129	78229	81779	78679
Hag		1280	1280	1280	1280	1280
Conquer Vegepygmie district		1280	1280	1280	1280	1280
3 Jungle Mantises		1440	1440	1440	1440	1440
Trog Patrol
	4 trogs	480	480	480	480	480
	2 acolytes	480	480	480	480	480
End		83089	86089	83189	86739	83639

Session 32 Summary

Kill 80 or so vegepygmies.

 

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		71729	74729	71829	74979	72279
80 vegepygmies		6400	6400	6400	6400	6400
RP - Story		0	0	0	400	0
End		78129	81129	78229	81779	78679

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #16

“So lets talk about Saventhi Yhi.”

Ron nodded then reached inside his coat and pulled out a hip flask. He casually unscrewed the top and took a swig of the foulest and cheapest whisky money could buy.

The doctor immediately protested. “Ron! No alchohol.”

Ron talk another drink then said. “You said no drugs not alcohol.”

The doctor vigorously shook his head and started to speak, “But alcohol is …”

Ron held up his hand. “Just hold it right there doc. I don’t want to hear it. Ask your stupid questions but don’t go telling me I can’t drink this.”

The doctor started to interject but Ron pressed on. “Alright then. Thanks doc. Cheers” And he took a third swig relishing the crude taste of his whisky.

The doctor glared at Ron, but Ron remained resolute, calmly taking a fourth drink from his bottle. Eventually the doctor relented. “Fine. Then tell me about Saventh Yhi.”

“Well the place was kind of like a zoo. It had all these different areas you could visit to see different animals and people; expect it was more like a safari and we could kill as much as we wanted. So yeah. It was fun.”

“Fun? “ asked the doctor. “You enjoyed the killing?”

Ron took another drink from his flask; with dismay he could feel it was almost empty. He didn’t feel there was much point in making it last, so he finished it off, screwed the cap back on and put it back into his pocket. Thankfully it was an everlasting flask of bad whisky and he knew it would refill its self soon enough. Noticing that the doctor was still waiting for a response, Ron sighed. “Look doctor, maybe you need to read over your notes again. We’ve been all over this stuff. Yes I enjoy killing. No I don’t know why and No, usually I don’t kill without good reason. Can we get to whatever heinous act I’ve done that you want to hyperventilate about?”

The doctor gave Ron a reproachful look. “Alright then I will, lets start with the Monkey Men?”

Ron scowled. “Treacherous little fuckers, I’m still waiting for my tribute. So what crime did I commit?”

“You made a deal with them. Leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone.”

Ron shrugged. “So? Listen they were going to cause trouble, deal or no deal. So we preemptively broke the deal before they could break it.”

“Really? You knew that for sure?”

Ron nodded. ‘Yep we knew for sure and we acted on it.”

The doctor shook his head. “No you didn’t. There is no way you knew. You never gave them a chance, you attacked them without mercy.”

Ron smiled. “Actually No. They attacked us first when we approached their keep.”

The doctor shook his head. “You were fully buffed and had nothing but murder on your mind.”

Ron smiled again and gave the doctor an innocent look. “Murder? There was nothing of the sort on our mind. We weren’t skulking around killing people while they slept. We went their openly in force, they chose to start a fight. Big difference doctor.”

The doctor shook his head. “You made no attempt to parlay. “

At that point Ron remembered his flask and took it out again. Sure enough it was full and he took a long drink.”

“Look doctor we didn’t get the chance, but I’ll be honest, we weren’t going to try. Those filthy flea munchers needed to die. Plain and simple.”

“You know in a way they are people too. They have families, live their lives and try to make their place in this world. Who are you to decide they need to be exterminated?”

Ron almost burst out laughing. “You are talking about the monkey men right? They are evil to core and will kill every human in this world if they could.”

The doctor shook his head. ‘You don’t know that Ron. They are sentient beings, they can think and feel. They could learn to become …”

This time Ron did laugh. “Are you serious? What become like us? What the hell is up with you today? You not getting any from your wife or any of your pretty nurses?”

 Ron shook his head. “You city types are all alike. You live in your neat little townhouses, wine and dine and drink your fancy coffees. I got news for you. You are living off the spoils of your ancestors. We humans have killed and massacred our way to superiority. That’s what we do. That’s why we have spread across every continent. Yeah sure we tolerate some minority races, elves, dwarves, midgets, whatever, but only because they are pathetic. If you want a race of monkey bucklers why don’t you go off and subjugate them yourself.”

The doctor was momentarily stunned into silence. “Ah well Ron, that isn’t what I …”

Ron gave the doctor hard stare. “Monkey men cannot be trusted. They ripped us off our tribute and our monkey butler fled at the first opportunity he got. They are trouble.”

Session 31 Summary

Last session also had a crack at the island in teh monster district, had an issue with a couple (6) giant pharana swarms and some shadows after Jason decided to retreat towards the building hte group wanted to explore.

It was return to the land of the shadows for a re-match this week, without the fish and the shadows were dispatched with ease.  The group then headed over to the vegepygmy section of town where they found a huge spider with brightly coloured webs and a few spider swarms  before returning to their camp in the cleared monkey-man area for a nap.

They returned to the vegepygmy square the following day where they fought some vegepygmies that had been camped out at the ziggurat, and as they were leaving that area started facing wave after wave of vegepygmies.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		61729	64729	61829	64979	62279
Pharana Swarms		2880	2880	2880	2880	2880
2 Shadows		320	320	320	320	320
Greater Shadow		960	960	960	960	960
RP - Conquer Monster Area		1920	1920	1920	1920	1920
Giant Spider		960	960	960	960	960
6 Spider Swarms		80	80	80	80	80
Vegepygmy Boss		480	480	480	480	480
30 Vegepygmies		2400	2400	2400	2400	2400
Total		71729	74729	71829	74979	72279

Session 30 Summary

The full rort of a reincarnated geriatric spellcaster is examined, followed by the party heading to the main square of the monkey-man encampment and drawing out a few guards to ambush.  This is accomplished, and the group then returns to the plaza to demand tribute and flight of the remaining monkey men, which agree to leave a pile of loot in the square provided the group leave them be to flee.  In the morning, there are no monkey men and no loot.

The group search the district, and scare off the demon ape that left their fight last session - without even noticing it.

The government camp is moved, and two days are spent building it in the monkey-king's fortress.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		58209	61209	58309	61459	58759
2 Girallons		960	960	960	960	960
2 Dire Apes		320	320	320	320	320
4 Monkey Men		960	960	960	960	960
Conquer Monkey-man district		1280	1280	1280	1280	1280
End		61729	64729	61829	64979	62279

Session 29 Summary

The group head for the ziggurat in the monkey-man section where they encounter a monkey-man priestess who returns a giant monkey demon statue to life.  The fight goes poorly, as the monkey demon attacks the back of the party while the warriors all attack the priestess and her minions, and Helga is slain.  In the end the monkey demon leaves the fight of its own accord.

The group return to the camp set up by their government allies and set it up properly.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron	AJ
Start		55329	58329	55429	58579	55879
Charau-Ka (4)		960	960	960	960	960
Charau-Ka Priestess		960	960	960	960	960
End		58209	61209	58309	61459	58759