Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #16

“So lets talk about Saventhi Yhi.”

Ron nodded then reached inside his coat and pulled out a hip flask. He casually unscrewed the top and took a swig of the foulest and cheapest whisky money could buy.

The doctor immediately protested. “Ron! No alchohol.”

Ron talk another drink then said. “You said no drugs not alcohol.”

The doctor vigorously shook his head and started to speak, “But alcohol is …”

Ron held up his hand. “Just hold it right there doc. I don’t want to hear it. Ask your stupid questions but don’t go telling me I can’t drink this.”

The doctor started to interject but Ron pressed on. “Alright then. Thanks doc. Cheers” And he took a third swig relishing the crude taste of his whisky.

The doctor glared at Ron, but Ron remained resolute, calmly taking a fourth drink from his bottle. Eventually the doctor relented. “Fine. Then tell me about Saventh Yhi.”

“Well the place was kind of like a zoo. It had all these different areas you could visit to see different animals and people; expect it was more like a safari and we could kill as much as we wanted. So yeah. It was fun.”

“Fun? “ asked the doctor. “You enjoyed the killing?”

Ron took another drink from his flask; with dismay he could feel it was almost empty. He didn’t feel there was much point in making it last, so he finished it off, screwed the cap back on and put it back into his pocket. Thankfully it was an everlasting flask of bad whisky and he knew it would refill its self soon enough. Noticing that the doctor was still waiting for a response, Ron sighed. “Look doctor, maybe you need to read over your notes again. We’ve been all over this stuff. Yes I enjoy killing. No I don’t know why and No, usually I don’t kill without good reason. Can we get to whatever heinous act I’ve done that you want to hyperventilate about?”

The doctor gave Ron a reproachful look. “Alright then I will, lets start with the Monkey Men?”

Ron scowled. “Treacherous little fuckers, I’m still waiting for my tribute. So what crime did I commit?”

“You made a deal with them. Leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone.”

Ron shrugged. “So? Listen they were going to cause trouble, deal or no deal. So we preemptively broke the deal before they could break it.”

“Really? You knew that for sure?”

Ron nodded. ‘Yep we knew for sure and we acted on it.”

The doctor shook his head. “No you didn’t. There is no way you knew. You never gave them a chance, you attacked them without mercy.”

Ron smiled. “Actually No. They attacked us first when we approached their keep.”

The doctor shook his head. “You were fully buffed and had nothing but murder on your mind.”

Ron smiled again and gave the doctor an innocent look. “Murder? There was nothing of the sort on our mind. We weren’t skulking around killing people while they slept. We went their openly in force, they chose to start a fight. Big difference doctor.”

The doctor shook his head. “You made no attempt to parlay. “

At that point Ron remembered his flask and took it out again. Sure enough it was full and he took a long drink.”

“Look doctor we didn’t get the chance, but I’ll be honest, we weren’t going to try. Those filthy flea munchers needed to die. Plain and simple.”

“You know in a way they are people too. They have families, live their lives and try to make their place in this world. Who are you to decide they need to be exterminated?”

Ron almost burst out laughing. “You are talking about the monkey men right? They are evil to core and will kill every human in this world if they could.”

The doctor shook his head. ‘You don’t know that Ron. They are sentient beings, they can think and feel. They could learn to become …”

This time Ron did laugh. “Are you serious? What become like us? What the hell is up with you today? You not getting any from your wife or any of your pretty nurses?”

 Ron shook his head. “You city types are all alike. You live in your neat little townhouses, wine and dine and drink your fancy coffees. I got news for you. You are living off the spoils of your ancestors. We humans have killed and massacred our way to superiority. That’s what we do. That’s why we have spread across every continent. Yeah sure we tolerate some minority races, elves, dwarves, midgets, whatever, but only because they are pathetic. If you want a race of monkey bucklers why don’t you go off and subjugate them yourself.”

The doctor was momentarily stunned into silence. “Ah well Ron, that isn’t what I …”

Ron gave the doctor hard stare. “Monkey men cannot be trusted. They ripped us off our tribute and our monkey butler fled at the first opportunity he got. They are trouble.”