Thursday, October 17, 2013

Session 17 Summary

We opened the session with a little gentle persuasion of an NPC assassin.  After carving a message in him and releasing him, it was shopping time, followed by spell learning.

The group moved on to the northern end of the lake, seeing local poor native villages.  After a day spent hunting the treasure (successfully) and some boasting after killing the beast of the lake's baby, the group celebrate with a party in the village, after which Ron was introduced to the concept of a golden shower.

The next day, the group moved on and were ambushed by a small group of natives.



xp
Dorian Szraiel Helga Ron Titus

Start
20029 21479 20129 21479 20579








1 Elasmasaurus 640 640 640 640 640
4 Native Rangers 320 320 320 320 320









End
20989 22439 21089 22439 21539

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #10


Ron lay back on the doctor’s couch with a gleeful expression. His eyes were glazed and distant and everything now and then he laughed to himself as if sharing a private joke.

Doctor Monroe seemed far from impressed.

Ron appeared to be oblivious to the doctor’s discontent. He held out his hand as if to touch something invisible and sniggered in delight. “Ahh pretty” Ron said as if caressing something.

The doctor kept quiet, instead choosing to patiently watch Ron.

“Lovely little pixie.” Ron smirked. “Half-naked and riding a unicorn too.”

The doctor wrote some notes down then finally spoke. “So you’ve really taken drugs now? Just to … well I’m not even sure why.”

Ron smiled. “Nope. no drugs. I’m not a junkie.”

“You’re still angry about our last session then?”

“Shhh, “ said Ron, “The sexy little pixie is trying to tell me something.”

“Ron, I feel I’m going backwards with you. This is not good.”

Ron shook his head in manner that suggested the doctor should be quiet. “No No. I’m afraid it would never fit.” Ron said addressing an empty spot in place.

The doctor sighed. “Ron that is quite enough. You cannot come to these sessions in this kind of state. You are clearly not in a sober state of mind.”

Ron pinched a tiny spec in pace. “Yes very firm.” He said.

The doctor moved as if to get out of his chair before halting and leaning forward. A thought had occurred to the doctor.

“So this is your fantasy Ron? Half-naked pixies? Hmmm.” The doctor started to scribble a substantial amount of notes.

Ron appeared to briefly break from his delirium to look at the doctor before turning his attention back to the invisible apparition. “That’s it take it off.”

The doctor began writing some more notes, this time he spoke aloud as he wrote. ”Feminine and borderline homosexual fantasies.”

The effect was instantaneous. “What the fuck?” said Ron.

The doctor looked at Ron. “I said borderline homosexual fantasies.” The doctor wrote something more. “Symbolism bordering on pedophilia.”

 

“What?” said Ron incredulously “it’s a fully GROWN FEMALE pixie.”

The doctor nodded. “As I said a homosexual fantasy bordering on pedophilia.”

Ron objected further, “What a load of bull. Why are you writing this shit down.”

The doctor placed his notebook abd said, "A pixie? Really? A fairy that little girls like to decorate their rooms with? I’m sorry Ron but that is very gay.”

Ron shook his head. ‘This was an adult one, a prostitute slut one. There’s nothing gay about that.’

The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, no I disagree. Pixies are for girls. Pixies are also small, small like children. A clear representation of a child.”

Ron kept shaking his head. “This is a very unchild-like naked pixie. This isn’t some poofter girl fairy. This is bullshit. Give me those notes.”

The doctor nodded and wrote the word ‘poofter’ in his notebook. Almost immediately Ron swiped the notebook and threw into the fireplace.

“Are you trying to piss me off?” said Ron. “I thought you were here to calm me. Do all your therapy bullshit.”

The doctor looked up at Ron. “I am, but you insist on behaving like a childish buffoon just to waste my time and make my life difficult. Now I would love to do some of my therapy bullshit, but you need to stop playing games. Such as coming in here as high as kite.”

“I’m not high. I’m not on drugs. Its just a minor spell. Its nothing really serious. Polypurpose Panacea.”

The doctor shook his head. “As I tried to tell you last week, spells can be drugs.”

Ron threw his hands up. “Fine. Ask one of your dumb questions.”

“Okay.” Said the doctor. “Tell me about your mother.”

“She was a whore bag slut.”

“Right,” said the doctor. “Is this a whore bag slut like your first wife or was she really a whore?”

Ron shook his head. “My first wife was really whore, we established that.”

“Okay then.” Said the doctor. “you’re first wife was a whore and your mother was a whore too”

Ron, clearly agitated snapped back. “Don’t call my mama a whore.”

The doctor gave Ron one his exasperated looks. “I didn’t call her a whore, you did.”

“Bullshit.” Said Ron “I just heard you call her a whore. That’s not very nice. You can’t say that.”

The doctor expelled a deep breath if frustration. “Okay then Ron. Please continue on then. Tell me more about your mother.”

“No.” said Ron.

The doctor looked at Ron. “You just said you would answer my questions.”

Ron shook his head. “I said I would answer one of your question and I did.”

“Ron, please. I am getting a lot of pressure to deliver my diagnosis. You are playing games again. I want you to start cooperating.”

“No.” Ron said again. “Not if you’re going to start calling my Mama a whore. She was the only one that ever looked after me.”

“Alright Ron. Can we forget I said that. Please tell me more. She cared for you and ?”

Ron crossed his arms. “No. You’ve hurt my feelings.”

The doctor suddenly stood up. “By Iomadoe’s Tits would you stood playing games. Let me make something very clear to you Ron Plunderman. I’ll give you until our next session to adjust your attitude or I’m going to have you committed and ensure the Lord’s Council can plunder every last coin of your wealth and estate. Is that clear?”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Alright. Sheesh. You could’ve asked nicely. Okay yeah fine. Next session, we’ll have big love fest about my mother.”

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Session 16 Summary

After killing the ape bears, the party waits around heroi9cly to collect their reward, a magic shrunken monkey's head. They then set off to find the ape-bears' lair.  They find it, and no loot.

They proceed along their journey, tackling some dangerous earwigs and vultures, march on for a couple more days and come to a tree festooned with hanging bodies and a bunch of undead.

The group advance on to Kalabuto where they find Cheiton in the Shrunken Head tavarn and retire to his house.  Assassins strike in the night, and the questioning is underway as things are left off.


xp
Dorian Szraiel Helga Ron Titus
Start
17869 19319 17969 19319 18419














Ankheg Trap 80 80 80 80 80
Ankhegs
480 480 480 480 480
Giant Vultures 320 320 320 320 320
Zombies
320 320 320 320 320
Assassins
960 960 960 960 960





















End
20029 21479 20129 21479 20579

Session 15 Summary

The action resumes at the crusher, a horrible looking machine.

The blue warrior and a female undead are dispatched, ending the undead threat in the salt mine.  Maybe.

The giant blue globe is smashed (actually ending the threat).

A locket is retrieved from the blue warrior and returned to the savage woman, who agrees to scout for the group.

The party attends a cock fight, where a fight breaks out after the party is accused, accurately, of cheating in the fight.  The party take what they feel they are owed after betting on the match they rigged and leave the camp.

They stumble across a village suffering from an ape bear problem, and hang around to help out with the issue, killing two ape bears.


xp
Dorian Szraiel Helga Ron Titus
Start
16469 17919 16569 17619 17019





















Blue Warrior
240 240 240 240 240
Salt Wight
120 120 120 120 120
RP - Return the locket to Athyra
320 320 320 320 320
Guards at the cock fight
240 240 240 240 240
Chemosit
480 480 480 480 480
RP - Stories
0 0 0 300 0







End
17869 19319 17969 19319 18419

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Session 14 Summary

The party agree to act as trailblazers for the main government - sponsored expedition to Saventh-Yhi.  The main expedition is to be led by general Rotilius Havelar, a man who fullfills all of the negative stereotypes of the British colonialist.

They are given the route to take, and a contact in Kalabuto to stay with in order to attempt to hide their presence from the other factions.

They wait a few days for what had been stored in the warehouse to be replaced and head off, led by Nkechi, the cleric of Gozreh.

After a couple of days (about 5) the group arrive at an old salt mine where a savage human woman with a bit of a fixation on dinosaur hunting convinces them to find evidence of what happened to her parents after the undead started coming up out of the mine.

The group manage to maneuver the abandoned mining camp at the entrance well enough, and find that the mine itself is infested with salt wights, an undead that would be a  much more significant threat if it could actually hit the ACs of the party's warriors.

The session ends at the crusher, a huge rock crushing machine in the mine.


xp
Dorian Szraiel Helga Ron Titus
Start
15429 16079 15529 16329 15979







Crystal Oooze 240 240 240 240 240
Salt Wights 720 720 720 720 720
Trap
80 80 80 80 80







RP - Stories 0 800 0 250 0







End
16469 17919 16569 17619 17019

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #8


Doctor Monroe sighed and resisted the temptation to rub his temples in frustration. He did not like to betray any emotion to his patients, particularly when dealing with his most dangerous. The doctor had been trying to ask Ron about his childhood and as usual, Ron had mounted an insurmountable defense.

Finally the doctor decided to let it go, not wanting to waste an entire session being stonewalled. Instead he changed topics to Ron’s old adventuring party, knowing Ron was far more likely to answer.

“So why did Titus leave your group?”

The sudden change of topic caught Ron by surprise yet still he didn’t answer.

“Come on Ron, we both know Titus is your favourite subject. If you’re going to waste my time not talking about something important, such as your childhood and formative years, then you may as well waste my time to talking about something far less important.”

A glimmer of a smile crossed Titus’s face. “Errr yeah I guess Titus is unimportant.”

“So come on then, forget all my silly questions about your childhood. Let’s talk about Titus.”

“Right...” Ron half stammered, “Okay…well he left the party. Not much else to say.”

“Really Ron? That’s all you have to say, you’ve had a lot to say about him in the past and also recently when he joined the Lord’s Council? So come on, why did he leave?”

Ron shrugged, “Don’t know, didn’t he die on the island?”

The doctor gave Ron a stern look, “Ron do I need to add delusional to your list of mental dysfunction?”

Ron reacted instantly, “Wait? Hey ? What? Who you calling dysfunctional? I function just fine?”

The doctor quickly followed, “You know what I mean? Stop playing games. Titus didn’t die on the island. Why did he leave your group?”

Ron retorted again, “Maybe I didn’t mean it literally, maybe he died in the head … “ Ron sniggered to himself, “or he was always brain dead.”

The doctor shook his head, “So you’re a psychologist too now are you?”

Ron nodded, “Yeah sure, why not? Its not like it’s a hard job. Just ask lots of annoying questions, nod all knowingly-like and think you’re better than everyone else. Lot like a paladin really.”

For a moment the doctor was silent as if trying to diffuse some of the tension in the room. “Okay Ron, you’re right? Sometimes I can be a bit pushy but remember I’m here to help you. To stop the Lord’s Council from taking your land and title. Now, if you please, why do you think Titus left the group.”

Ron sighed, “Doc I really don’t know, he never bothered telling us, at least I don’t think he did. I was really focused on my hookers at the time.”

The doctor leaned back in his chair and gave Ron a stern look as if waiting for Ron to continue. Eventually Ron picked up on the doctor’s cue and continued.

“I don’t know honest, he snuck away in the middle of the night. One morning we woke up and he was gone. All there was … all there was a note for Dorian and some money. That’s it. The note explained what the money was for. It was to pay back Dorian.”

Ron shrugged, “Like I said got no idea why he left.”

The doctor wrote some notes down then continued to press Ron. “Come on Ron, do we always have to play this game? You know full well why Titus left, how about you just tell me. There really isn’t enough time to today for our normal verbal joust.”

Ron sniggered to himself, “Alright. He left because he was a poofter and had fallen in love with Dorian. “

Once more the doctor resisted the urge to rub his temples in frustration. Instead he sighed. “Very well then, Titus had fallen in love with Dorian. So why then would Titus leave, surely he would’ve stayed if he truly loved him?”

Ron shook his head, “Nah. Dorian is too much of a slut. Titus was really hurt about the slut fairy and Sasha. He just couldn’t bare it any longer, which is why he slipped away in the middle of the night. Too afraid to confront Dorian about his feelings.”

“Hmm” said the doctor in an almost sardonic manner. “So it was all Dorian’s fault?”

Ron nodded.

“It had nothing to do with the death of Jask? The complete lack of irreverence you and your companions had for Jask’s life?”

Ron shrugged. “Nah. Titus didn’t give a fuck about Jask, he could hardly even remember his name.”

The doctor shook his head. “Do I need to read to you again Titus’s account of what happened?”

Ron merely shrugged, hoping the doctor wouldn’t read it again.

“Ron do you actually have any evidence that Titus was a homosexual?”

Ron nodded, “Sure I do. I never saw him with a woman and he worships a female god”

The doctor signed then hesitated, eyeing Ron with careful consideration before he eventually asked a question. “Ron may I be blunt?”

Ron smiled “As blunt as a hammer.”

“You’re theory that Titus loved Dorian is complete poppycock. I am quite simply affronted that you would attempt to convince me that you believe such a purile and disingenuous fantasy. Should I even bother to remind you that I really am here to help you? That the Lord’s Council really is trying to strip you of your wealth and title and have you committed to a mental asylum?”

“Furthermore Titus now holds a position of power on the Lord’s Council and may well have a hand in deciding your fate. Do you really think it is wise to be making such slurs against him? You are fortunate that I really do uphold my medical vows and hold these conversations in the outmost confidence. However continuing to peddle such accounts of Titus will eventually undermine your position.”

Ron sat quietly absorbing the doctor’s words, his mischievous smile gone from his face.

“Ron, I really hope you can understand the gravity of this situation and answer my question with honesty and sincerity.”

Ron nodded with a serious look on his face.

“So having said all this, can you tell me why you think Titus left your group?”

Without hesitation and in a completely sincere voice Ron answered.  “Yes doctor I can. Titus was raging closest fag who could no longer stand being spurned by the man he loved.”