Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #8

Doctor Monroe sighed and resisted the temptation to rub his temples in frustration. He did not like to betray any emotion to his patients, particularly when dealing with his most dangerous. The doctor had been trying to ask Ron about his childhood and as usual, Ron had mounted an insurmountable defense.

Finally the doctor decided to let it go, not wanting to waste an entire session being stonewalled. Instead he changed topics to Ron’s old adventuring party, knowing Ron was far more likely to answer.

“So why did Titus leave your group?”

The sudden change of topic caught Ron by surprise yet still he didn’t answer.

“Come on Ron, we both know Titus is your favourite subject. If you’re going to waste my time not talking about something important, such as your childhood and formative years, then you may as well waste my time to talking about something far less important.”

A glimmer of a smile crossed Titus’s face. “Errr yeah I guess Titus is unimportant.”

“So come on then, forget all my silly questions about your childhood. Let’s talk about Titus.”

“Right...” Ron half stammered, “Okay…well he left the party. Not much else to say.”

“Really Ron? That’s all you have to say, you’ve had a lot to say about him in the past and also recently when he joined the Lord’s Council? So come on, why did he leave?”

Ron shrugged, “Don’t know, didn’t he die on the island?”

The doctor gave Ron a stern look, “Ron do I need to add delusional to your list of mental dysfunction?”

Ron reacted instantly, “Wait? Hey ? What? Who you calling dysfunctional? I function just fine?”

The doctor quickly followed, “You know what I mean? Stop playing games. Titus didn’t die on the island. Why did he leave your group?”

Ron retorted again, “Maybe I didn’t mean it literally, maybe he died in the head … “ Ron sniggered to himself, “or he was always brain dead.”

The doctor shook his head, “So you’re a psychologist too now are you?”

Ron nodded, “Yeah sure, why not? Its not like it’s a hard job. Just ask lots of annoying questions, nod all knowingly-like and think you’re better than everyone else. Lot like a paladin really.”

For a moment the doctor was silent as if trying to diffuse some of the tension in the room. “Okay Ron, you’re right? Sometimes I can be a bit pushy but remember I’m here to help you. To stop the Lord’s Council from taking your land and title. Now, if you please, why do you think Titus left the group.”

Ron sighed, “Doc I really don’t know, he never bothered telling us, at least I don’t think he did. I was really focused on my hookers at the time.”

The doctor leaned back in his chair and gave Ron a stern look as if waiting for Ron to continue. Eventually Ron picked up on the doctor’s cue and continued.

“I don’t know honest, he snuck away in the middle of the night. One morning we woke up and he was gone. All there was … all there was a note for Dorian and some money. That’s it. The note explained what the money was for. It was to pay back Dorian.”

Ron shrugged, “Like I said got no idea why he left.”

The doctor wrote some notes down then continued to press Ron. “Come on Ron, do we always have to play this game? You know full well why Titus left, how about you just tell me. There really isn’t enough time to today for our normal verbal joust.”

Ron sniggered to himself, “Alright. He left because he was a poofter and had fallen in love with Dorian. “

Once more the doctor resisted the urge to rub his temples in frustration. Instead he sighed. “Very well then, Titus had fallen in love with Dorian. So why then would Titus leave, surely he would’ve stayed if he truly loved him?”

Ron shook his head, “Nah. Dorian is too much of a slut. Titus was really hurt about the slut fairy and Sasha. He just couldn’t bare it any longer, which is why he slipped away in the middle of the night. Too afraid to confront Dorian about his feelings.”

“Hmm” said the doctor in an almost sardonic manner. “So it was all Dorian’s fault?”

Ron nodded.

“It had nothing to do with the death of Jask? The complete lack of irreverence you and your companions had for Jask’s life?”

Ron shrugged. “Nah. Titus didn’t give a fuck about Jask, he could hardly even remember his name.”

The doctor shook his head. “Do I need to read to you again Titus’s account of what happened?”

Ron merely shrugged, hoping the doctor wouldn’t read it again.

“Ron do you actually have any evidence that Titus was a homosexual?”

Ron nodded, “Sure I do. I never saw him with a woman and he worships a female god”

The doctor signed then hesitated, eyeing Ron with careful consideration before he eventually asked a question. “Ron may I be blunt?”

Ron smiled “As blunt as a hammer.”

“You’re theory that Titus loved Dorian is complete poppycock. I am quite simply affronted that you would attempt to convince me that you believe such a purile and disingenuous fantasy. Should I even bother to remind you that I really am here to help you? That the Lord’s Council really is trying to strip you of your wealth and title and have you committed to a mental asylum?”

“Furthermore Titus now holds a position of power on the Lord’s Council and may well have a hand in deciding your fate. Do you really think it is wise to be making such slurs against him? You are fortunate that I really do uphold my medical vows and hold these conversations in the outmost confidence. However continuing to peddle such accounts of Titus will eventually undermine your position.”

Ron sat quietly absorbing the doctor’s words, his mischievous smile gone from his face.

“Ron, I really hope you can understand the gravity of this situation and answer my question with honesty and sincerity.”

Ron nodded with a serious look on his face.

“So having said all this, can you tell me why you think Titus left your group?”

Without hesitation and in a completely sincere voice Ron answered.  “Yes doctor I can. Titus was raging closest fag who could no longer stand being spurned by the man he loved.”