Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #10

Ron lay back on the doctor’s couch with a gleeful expression. His eyes were glazed and distant and everything now and then he laughed to himself as if sharing a private joke.

Doctor Monroe seemed far from impressed.

Ron appeared to be oblivious to the doctor’s discontent. He held out his hand as if to touch something invisible and sniggered in delight. “Ahh pretty” Ron said as if caressing something.

The doctor kept quiet, instead choosing to patiently watch Ron.

“Lovely little pixie.” Ron smirked. “Half-naked and riding a unicorn too.”

The doctor wrote some notes down then finally spoke. “So you’ve really taken drugs now? Just to … well I’m not even sure why.”

Ron smiled. “Nope. no drugs. I’m not a junkie.”

“You’re still angry about our last session then?”

“Shhh, “ said Ron, “The sexy little pixie is trying to tell me something.”

“Ron, I feel I’m going backwards with you. This is not good.”

Ron shook his head in manner that suggested the doctor should be quiet. “No No. I’m afraid it would never fit.” Ron said addressing an empty spot in place.

The doctor sighed. “Ron that is quite enough. You cannot come to these sessions in this kind of state. You are clearly not in a sober state of mind.”

Ron pinched a tiny spec in pace. “Yes very firm.” He said.

The doctor moved as if to get out of his chair before halting and leaning forward. A thought had occurred to the doctor.

“So this is your fantasy Ron? Half-naked pixies? Hmmm.” The doctor started to scribble a substantial amount of notes.

Ron appeared to briefly break from his delirium to look at the doctor before turning his attention back to the invisible apparition. “That’s it take it off.”

The doctor began writing some more notes, this time he spoke aloud as he wrote. ”Feminine and borderline homosexual fantasies.”

The effect was instantaneous. “What the fuck?” said Ron.

The doctor looked at Ron. “I said borderline homosexual fantasies.” The doctor wrote something more. “Symbolism bordering on pedophilia.”

 

“What?” said Ron incredulously “it’s a fully GROWN FEMALE pixie.”

The doctor nodded. “As I said a homosexual fantasy bordering on pedophilia.”

Ron objected further, “What a load of bull. Why are you writing this shit down.”

The doctor placed his notebook abd said, "A pixie? Really? A fairy that little girls like to decorate their rooms with? I’m sorry Ron but that is very gay.”

Ron shook his head. ‘This was an adult one, a prostitute slut one. There’s nothing gay about that.’

The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, no I disagree. Pixies are for girls. Pixies are also small, small like children. A clear representation of a child.”

Ron kept shaking his head. “This is a very unchild-like naked pixie. This isn’t some poofter girl fairy. This is bullshit. Give me those notes.”

The doctor nodded and wrote the word ‘poofter’ in his notebook. Almost immediately Ron swiped the notebook and threw into the fireplace.

“Are you trying to piss me off?” said Ron. “I thought you were here to calm me. Do all your therapy bullshit.”

The doctor looked up at Ron. “I am, but you insist on behaving like a childish buffoon just to waste my time and make my life difficult. Now I would love to do some of my therapy bullshit, but you need to stop playing games. Such as coming in here as high as kite.”

“I’m not high. I’m not on drugs. Its just a minor spell. Its nothing really serious. Polypurpose Panacea.”

The doctor shook his head. “As I tried to tell you last week, spells can be drugs.”

Ron threw his hands up. “Fine. Ask one of your dumb questions.”

“Okay.” Said the doctor. “Tell me about your mother.”

“She was a whore bag slut.”

“Right,” said the doctor. “Is this a whore bag slut like your first wife or was she really a whore?”

Ron shook his head. “My first wife was really whore, we established that.”

“Okay then.” Said the doctor. “you’re first wife was a whore and your mother was a whore too”

Ron, clearly agitated snapped back. “Don’t call my mama a whore.”

The doctor gave Ron one his exasperated looks. “I didn’t call her a whore, you did.”

“Bullshit.” Said Ron “I just heard you call her a whore. That’s not very nice. You can’t say that.”

The doctor expelled a deep breath if frustration. “Okay then Ron. Please continue on then. Tell me more about your mother.”

“No.” said Ron.

The doctor looked at Ron. “You just said you would answer my questions.”

Ron shook his head. “I said I would answer one of your question and I did.”

“Ron, please. I am getting a lot of pressure to deliver my diagnosis. You are playing games again. I want you to start cooperating.”

“No.” Ron said again. “Not if you’re going to start calling my Mama a whore. She was the only one that ever looked after me.”

“Alright Ron. Can we forget I said that. Please tell me more. She cared for you and ?”

Ron crossed his arms. “No. You’ve hurt my feelings.”

The doctor suddenly stood up. “By Iomadoe’s Tits would you stood playing games. Let me make something very clear to you Ron Plunderman. I’ll give you until our next session to adjust your attitude or I’m going to have you committed and ensure the Lord’s Council can plunder every last coin of your wealth and estate. Is that clear?”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Alright. Sheesh. You could’ve asked nicely. Okay yeah fine. Next session, we’ll have big love fest about my mother.”