19. Szraiels ‘Notes aboot Notin’

So after we took out the necromancer we camped a day. Ron and Helga drunk some of the necromancers blood to get some spells, freaks, ever since that paladin piked out and quit it’s just getting worse. Bloody whinging quitters! Think Helgas convinced Ron to follow her evil tempered with good philosophy!! The necromancer had blindness, good that didn’t get one of us, that’s a permanent thing – don’t even think Dorian could fix it.

We identified a weak natural armour amulet the hammer guy took and a mask we gave to Ron – not sure he likes it but it deflects attacks, is pretty intimidating and can scare people as strong as us. He might have to wear it on the back of his head when he bites - though that might be a good thing – i read about tiger problems in the Sundarbans once. Apparently masks on the back of the head prevent attacks from ambush predators.

http://www.nytimes.com/1989/09/05/science/face-masks-fool-the-bengal-tigers.html

We kept travelling the next day, and the days following, eventually getting out of the filthy screechy jungle but not before three gnomes with halberds attacked us one evening. They were sneaking up when Ron noticed them and I immediately cast heroism and was surprised when he didn’t inject himself.

We passively waited till they got to 60ft when one struck a bell that assailed our minds with a suggestion. Helga, faster than I ever saw her act, froze the bell holder while the other two fanned out, approached and enbiggened themselves. Ron approached the held/bell one dreamily but shook himself free from the suggestion before walking between the giants. The hammer guy was not as strong and he was axed twice as he walked between the two giants to the held bell user.

While Dorian kept trying to get the giants to attack each other, Helga hexed, and Ron stood around inexplicably buffing without a care the hammer guy was hacked down by the giants! At least I managed to decapitate the held one before he shook Helgas spell off.

Dorian tried to stop the hammer guy from bleeding out but it seemed he was truly gone. At least Ron got motivated and between us, Dorians eventual success at getting them to attack each other and Helgas ear shattering scream we prevailed.

We eventually got the hammer guy up, but it seems we missed some pieces; he now has a horrible wheeze and is fatigued constantly. Hopefully it means he will stop bitching all the time at least.

The next day while pottering along we heard some feminine giggles, splashes and laughter - suspicious we started to sneak up. Unfortunately the hammer guy started to loudly whine about natives bathing, alas his bitching has not stopped, our position now compromised we approached openly after buffing. There were four VERY attractive ladies bathing who covered themselves then beckoned us to join them. Ron, the hammer guy and Dorian were keen. Dorian though, as suspicious as the rest of us, detected magic on them. It seems though they all had magics on them. Rons urgings and Dorians own lascivious desire got the better of him and he decided their just ‘so gorgeous its magic’ propositioned them. They wanted to go back to their hut but Dorian said if they want ‘it’ it has to be here and now and doggy so they cannot pull any kissing nonsense! They didn’t like the audience so two took Ron behind some bushes and two took Dorian behind some others. As I snuck off to follow Ron Helga dismounted to stretch and wait and give his horse rest while the hammer guy stayed on his poor mount.

I figured they would keep an eye on Dorian.. I snuck up on Ron and the two natives. It seems Ron might have had some impotence problems but to remedy them he announced his high perception with pride and that I should not watch. This uncharacteristically stupid act along with his bizarre sudden care for people watching meant I was made and had to withdraw. Even though a snake as a man I could not quit on a companion so snuck back. This time Ron didn’t announce my presence though seemed bitter that I was there.

Things didn’t get too far along before I heard a boom from Dorians direction and at the same time the two sluts on Ron stepped back, drew blowguns from someplace and pinned him. I moved up and hacked one down while Ron struggled with the poison, at one point he froze up but I gallantly inspired him to ‘harden up princess’ and he shook it off.

The other ran towards her friends. At one of the other sluts was blind and stunned thanks to Helga but still it seemed they were struggling. Dorian was telling the others not to attack the hot chicks and Helga had a needle sticking out of her. Worse the hammer guy was whining that we should all give up because the main slut was resistant to damage. Seems he went to the same warrior school as the quitter paladin. I pointed out most warriors can do some damage to resistant things and just as using a weapon 2H precludes 2 weapons and is only a crazies cause for complaint, instead of complaining sometimes 2 weapons have to be swapped for one. This apparently blew his mind and he complained and whined even louder about how I think I am better or something..utterly utterly bizarre!  At least his horse was useful and killed the blind and stunned slut after he missed.

As he rambled I went about my business almost hacking down the remaining human slut while Dorian told us to stop. Unfortunately it seemed the battle had not turned when the tough chick told Helga to step into Rons stinky cloud.

Though she walked out unsickened the hammer guy was now trying to stop Rons slow advance to the fight (after some more buffing)but his horse at least finished of the slut I had severely hurt. Dorian had snapped out and was healing us while I not being a whining quitter and being able to alter my strategy went to get Rons morningstar figuring sooner or later I could lay her low if I showed some courage and persistence.

I was confident that even not being a committed warrior, resistant or not, I would eventually lay her low despite her showing her true horned and winged form. Unfortunately as I damaged the resistant slut she drained Dorian and got tougher. As I healed him Ron attacked with Helga. It took ages with her draining horses, grappling and kissing. She was immune to poison, could fly (and was immune to fire bombs but not my arrows or Dorians spiritual daggers) and could keep coming up and draining others when hurt. Even when the hammer guy snapped out of it and critically hit her (after using the super secret 2 hands on 1 weapon technique only ‘better’ people know lol) she managed to keep draining and going.

Though loath to do so in the face of trained expert warriors that presumable are taught tactical flexibility I decided to grapple. Though poor at it hopefully it would stop the incessant escapes and spell abilities. Even though I failed she said I was no fun and teleported away. Bitch. Unfortunately none of the hot sluts survived having bled out and reverted to a less hot (but hot) form on death.

Eight day have passed since the necromancer encounter. Man this treck is more boring that island ever was!