Session 44 Summary

The Aspis consortium camp is teleporting murder squaded.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		179869	182869	179969	185619
Legionnaires		5600	5600	5600	5600
Boss		1600	1600	1600	1600
Ishiru		1200	1200	1200	1200
Girralons		1200	1200	1200	1200
Total		189469	192469	189569	195219

Session 43 Summary

The group enter the zombie croc's lair, and a little paranioa starts to spread.

They kill some boggard zombies and spiders and then return to camp to rest, return to sanity and go shopping.

The next day, as the group returned to the dungeon they see a woman and a man obviously fleeing something.  They kill the man and scare off the woman before killing a few men from the Aspis consirtium, who were the ones chasing the couple.  The group do manage to capture one of the Aspis men, who they blinded during the fight and get a little information from him.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		165469	168469	165569	171219
Kill Bogard Zombie Spidery things		4800	4800	4800	4800
Kill Spider		9600	9600	9600	9600
Legionnaires		3600	3600	3600	3600
End		179869	182869	179969	185619

Session 42 Summary

The group is ambushed by a few deathcap jumpers, kill a giant sea anemone (in a dungeon) and head back to camp to rest.

The group decide to take a day off for shopping, then 3 more days and eventualy head for another cavern.

The group starts buffing outside the dungeon and is attacked by a giant zombie crocodile, which is put back to death.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		153469	156469	153569	158119
Deathcap Jumpers		4800	4800	4800	4800
Elder Polyp		4800	4800	4800	4800
Croc		2400	2400	2400	2400
RP Journals		0	0	0	1100
End		165469	168469	165569	171219

Therapy Session of Ron Plunderman #19

The doctor looked at Ron on utter horror. “You ran that poor fellow through? Just like that? Murdered him?”

Ron nonchalantly waved the doctor away. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not like I killed a person.”

The doctor shook his head vigorously, “Of course he was, don’t pretend to think otherwise. You know damn well that the natives of this area are people just like you and me.”

Ron looked curiously at the doctor as if he had said something very wrong. “You and I aren’t a like…”

The doctor continued. “Yes well obviously, but you can’t say he wasn’t a person.”

Ron sighed. “Okay fine, I murdered that native, but it’s not like he didn’t provoke me.”

“Oh?” the doctor, “How exactly was that?”

“I don’t quite recall.” Said Ron, “He was very disrespectful … untrustworthy. Look it doesn’t matter, gee it’s not like its permanent. Go get twenty five grand and I’ll get the super fag to true resurrect him. Not a big deal really…”

Ron’s voice trailed off before he continued, “Look can I get it on to the next bit. You’ll like it.”

The doctor seemed far from pleased but nodded none the less.

“Well we got Helga to do some scrying and divinations. It was a great effort. We knew that Asian guy from the island was probably nearby somewhere… what was his name? Yoshi or something? Stupid foreign names. You know, Chink Eyes? Can you check your notes? You probably wrote it down. “

 

The doctor frowned. “Never mind Ron I know who you are talking about. Go on”

“Right. So we found him, we found the camp, we scouted it with an arcane eye and then …” Ron laughed to himself almost gleefully. “We dimension doored in. It was the first time we tried that manoeuvre, we call it the teleporting murder squad trick.”

“Right … “the doctor still sounded highly unimpressed.

“I admit I just wanted to teleport in amongst the barracks and start killing but Helga got all squeamish. You know, as girls tend to be. I think she thought it was amoral or something to just teleport in and starting killing. Not sure I agree but in the end I liked her proposal better.”

Ron laughed again. “Instead we teleported in and gave them a chance.”

Again Ron laughed, it was almost a giggle. “It was just brilliant. I said ‘Alright you bunch of fags you got two minutes to get out of this city.’”

Ron continued laughing to himself, wiping tears from his eyes. “I loved it, it was a choice, but not really a choice. We knew they would attack and attack they did. What a blood bath.”

Ron sat glaring at Ron before shaking his head. “So you killed them all?”

Ron nodded. “Pretty much, Chinky died, the guard died, the gorillons and even their brainless boss… and I mean brainless. Like he had no brain, the victim of Intellect Devourer no less.”

“I see. “ said the doctor, “You seem very pleased with yourself.”

Ron nodded. “Yep. They put up an alright fight mind you. Turned out Chinky was pretty damn good in a brawl almost killed Szariel. Szariel was majorly buffed too, his usual spells plus cat’s grace and one of Dorian’s Shield of Faith spells PLUS fighting in his usually defensive stance, but it was no good. Got minced.”

Ron sniggered again, “Dorian almost forgot to heal him, almost let him bleed out, but he managed to save him just in a nick of time.”

“Naturally I killed the lions share, including Chinky and the boss, it was beautiful. Everyone was happy. Spikey was happy, Toothie was happy we were just one big happy family.”

“Right…” the doctor wrote some more notes in his journal. “We’ll have to have a chat about Spikey and Toothie someday, I strongly suspect they steered you down a very dark path indeed.”

Ron brushed the doctor’s comments away. “Now now, be nice, my familiar and sword are pretty nice, once when you get to know them.”

“Yes yes” the doctor said. “So what happened next?”

“We looted of course, and then went to the prison cells, where all those natives were being held captive.”

“And?”

“We released them of course. What else would we do? Leave them to starve with their keys left just tantalising beyond their reach? Or perhaps sell them? I was just joking when I said all that”

Ron laughed once more before continuing “No No. The super fag took charge, gave them some pansy words and sent them on their way, offering them refuge in our camp. They seemed pretty frightened of me and gave me a wide berth, seemed they didn’t understand my sense of humour.”

The tutted to himself and kept writing notes.

Ron shook his head seriously. “They were lucky though that I’m so strong willed, because Toothie … and spiky for that matter were mighty keen for me to kill them.”

The doctor sighed and asked Ron “And you insist that infernal sword is ‘nice’.?”

Ron nodded. “Yeah sure. Its not her fault that some pervert created her with the sole purpose of killing everything she sees.”

Ron meets Spikey

Ron slept fitfully; the lump in his side had been growing larger causing him discomfort when ever he moved. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to force sleep by thinking of women, lately it had been Julliver, bending the dwarvish bitch over and giving it her.

A sharp series of stabbing pains from his side almost caused him to scream in pain. He reached his hand into his tunic and pressed his hand onto the place where it hurt. He felt something sharp like a number of needles sticking into his palm. He pulled his hand away in surprise and felt a sudden sense of foreboding. Was he sick ? Was something seriousily wrong with him?

What happened next was completely unexpected. Ron heard a slightly muffled though audible voice protesting from his side. “Yo fag, get those poofter hands off me.”

Ron sat bolt upright and pulled off his tunic. To his horror he saw a grotesque fleshly lump that vaguely resembled some kind of rodent sticking its head out of his abdomen. In an instant he grabbed it and threw it away from him, the creature hit the canvas of his tent and landed on the ground with a dull thud.

“You cock sucker!” It protested. “What the fuck do you think you’re doin?.”

Ron reached for his bed side tabled and grabbed the syringe of mutagen ready to inject himself.

“What the fuck dude. What’s with you? You been possessed by AJ or something?”

Ron hesitated, recognizing something familiar in the creature.

“That’s right Ron, I’m a part of you … kind of … “ said the creature.

Ron stared blankly at it until a glimmer of understanding came to him. He had heard of such manifestations before. Excessive alchemical drug and compound use can sometimes collect and form into a sentient creature, in many ways similar to a wizards familiar.

Ron relaxed and looked at the creature in more detail. He realized now that it looked more like a hedgehog.

“Fuck” said the hedgehog. “If you could just see your face, you look like a complete retard. Seriously, like down-syndrome retarded. I see I arrived at just the right time. Its time to set you straight.”

Ron cast a quick glance at the tent door. His tent was set up in the old military district of Saventh Yhe, within the massive garrison that they had taken from the monkey men. Outside a few feet away were the tents of his fellow adventuring companions. Ron wasn’t sure if he wanted them witnessing the exchange he was having with his new ‘friend.”

“Come on Ron,” said the hedgehog. “It’s a bit late to worry about the others hearing you. You should’ve thought about that before you threw me across the room. Besides the only person around here that doesn’t have super-tuned hearing is that super fag Dorian … but don’t worry we’re speaking ‘Ron-hog’ it’s a made up language that only we understand.”

Ron shook his head and lay back down on his bed. Fuck he thought, this was one serious flashback. He closed his eyes and tried to think of Julliver’s dwarven tits. (Come to think of it, he had never seen dwarven tits.) However the hedgehog persisted. “You’re thinking of that Julliver slut again aren’t you? Your pathetic. If that bitch says no to you, then you just kill the bitch okay.  Seriousily your too nice Ron. Why did you ever get her reincarnated anyway? She’s done nothing for you. Shit Ron, you’re lucky I’m here. You need someone around that says it like it is.”

Ron closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep.

“Yo Fag, don’t try to go to sleep on me…” the hedgehog suddenly stopped speaking and there was a long moment of silence.

Finally the hedgehog spoke. “What. The. Fuck. Is. That?”

Ron opened his eyes to see the tumour like familiar sitting on a pompous white wig. “Is this yours? Have you gone full fag?” The hedgehog said.

Ron shook his head and pulled it away from the hedgehog. “No its not. Its Dorian’s. I’m enchanting it…”

“You’re fucking what? That fag needs to die Ron. Get out there and kill him now.”

Ron shook his head. “No. Now let me sleep.”

“Well if you’re not going to kill him, you should piss that wig off. You’ve got your own shit that you need to make. Just tell that fag your enchantment failed. “

Ron shook his head. “No I promised him.”

“What??!!” the hedgehog nearly screamed. “ Who cares about promises? You rip that gay infested pansy wig up now before you catch homosexuality.”

Ron started to get angry. “Hey listen here hedgehog. If you’re a familiar then I’m the master, which means you need to do what I say. I said shut the fuck up.”

Ron swiped his mutagen syringe from his bedside table and threatened to inject himself.

The hedgehog backed away from Ron and started to protest. “Gee Ron settle down. Sorry to offend your bum chum. Hey if you want me to go so you can have some privacy when he comes over just say the word.”

Ron growled at the hedgehog.

“Hey I’m just kidding. I know that aint happening. Listen like I said I’m here to look out for you. These fags you travel with abuse you man. You’re too nice.  You’re always running first into danger, taking all the risks while they hang back and share the glory.”

Ron shook his head. “Shut up man. We’ve pretty much slaughtered this whole city, they have their uses.”

“Uses???” interrupted the hedgehog. “Are you serious, like what?”

Ron looked at the hedgehog with irritation. “Well Dorian heals us ...”

“Get a wand of healing.” The hedgehog cut in.

Ron glared at the hedgehog, “Wands cost money and take time to use… besides he’s getting more powerful, flamestrike, spiritual weapons, buff spells. They are all useful.”

The hedgehog rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Helga has taken many a powerful foe out with a single hex.”

The hedgehogs spat on the ground. “Bah, robbing you of a worthy victim. You don’t need her. Do yourself a favour, go over to her tent and kill her now.”

Ron ignored her. “Szariel grows mightier in battle and is a great source of knowledge…”

The hedgehog interrupted again. “No. No. No. Stop speaking now. You don’t need knowledge you need corpses and plunder. And what the hell do you mean growing mightier in battle? Are you saying after months of adventuring he is starting to learn how to fight? Are you suggesting that he’s getting as good as you?”

Ron wavered. “Well ... no but he’s effective in may ways…”

“By Iomedae’s perky breasts you are pathetic. Listen here, you need to lift your game. This is what you’re going to do. Tomorrow you are going to fish that Red Mantis Blade out of your backpack and start using it. It’s got heaps of powers and it has a piss weak personality. You never need to worry about it possessing you. And if even if it does, it just wants you to kill everything. So I see no downside.”

“You’re going to start spending all this gold you have and buy some decent magic items.”

“Finally no more being nice. No more reincarnating sluts that don’t put out or saving useless adventurers that get turned to stone. Do you understand?”

Ron nodded, if only to make the hedgehog shut up.

“Good. Now get some sleep.”

The hedgehog started to waddle out of the tent.

“Where are you going?” Ron asked

The hedgehog sniggered. “I’m going to have a little perv of that Juliver slut, while she sleeps.”

Session 41 Summary

Paranoia abounds as the group discover a secret area in their cave system.

Returning to camp, the group rest for 2 days.

They then return to the vault and identify the entrances to the other vaults, where the group assumes the six crystals they believe they need to activate the portal will be found.

The vegepygmy vault is decided on as the next destination, and is entered, with some throny cave lions and basinironds killed.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		148669	151669	148769	153319
Thorny Cave Lions		2400	2400	2400	2400
Basidironds		2400	2400	2400	2400
End		153469	156469	153569	158119

Session 40 Summary

The party get their loot on int eh Radiant Muse's house, and then continue exploring the human district.  They are able to kill 3 basilisks, and use the blood of the creatures to return Helga to flesh, as well as three random people.  Then back to camp to relax for a bit, rest overnight and agree to help Juliver track down her friends and the magic portal.

Tracking Juliver back to a cave proved to be relatively simple, and 14 ketches are killed, a stone golem is destroyed, and a bunch of Sabosans are convinced to flee their home.

Dorian then moves to the fore and sets off a magical trap, killing Juliver, almost destroying several of Szraiel's magical items and almost killing himself and Szraiel.  Helga, on fire, dimension doors into a nearby stream to put herself out, and general hilarity ensues from the firestorm trap.


Finally, a giant slug is put to rest.

xp		Dorian	Szraiel	Helga	Ron
Start		137069	140069	137169	141219
3 basilisks		1200	1200	1200	1200
6 ketches		1200	1200	1200	1200
8 more ketches		1600	1600	1600	1600
Stone Golem		3200	3200	3200	3200
Trap		3200	3200	3200	3200
Giant Slug		1200	1200	1200	1200
RP - Journal		0	0	0	500
End		148669	151669	148769	153319