Monday, December 9, 2013

"Murderhobos Paradise"

As I walk through the city that the peasants maintain

I take a look at my purse and realize its almost drained 
But thats no problem for a MurderHobo you see 
Filling it back up to the brim is mere simplicity

At 4:30 in the morning I'm killin' drows
Jebediah offs the kobolds and Jacob scowls... fool

I've be killin and looting so long that 
Even Gorum thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man on the land and go into dungeons
Got Chaotic good on my sheet, barabzu beard on my chin

But if I make all my DC's, and you make all thine
We'll wrack up prestige like its 4099

We been spending most our lives
Living murder hobo's paradise
Commited arson once or twice
Living murder hobo's paradise
It's hard work to sacrifice
Peasants in a Hobos paradise
plus twelve to all my dice
rollin murder hobos paradise

A venture captain irked me somethin fierce last week
I cursed him out and gave a lot of cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he sees the DC of my spell

But I ain't never slain a newbie even if he deserved it
Hittin Level seven? Now we can fry him a bit

Smash the I-win buttons till the monster goes splat
And my party agrees this loot is pretty phat...fool

If you get arrested there's nothing to fear
We Haven't even take the paid taxes in 400 years.

But we ain't really Heroes, even if we put on airs
We're just moralthically impaired

There's no laws no, rights, no justicar
Not a single shred mercy
Like Dralneen in the bedroom
Its barbaric as can be

We been spending most our lives
Livin Murder hobo's paradise
Commited arson once or twice
Livin murder hobo's paradise
Nothing but sin and vice
Living murder hobo's paradise
We all fight we don't play nice
Livin murder hobo's paradise

Killin all the townsfolk, Its why they call him Cutter
Rais a level monday, Soon I'll raise another

Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well I know I've got more hit points so I'll give you a head start

I'm the pious guy the little pallies wanna be like
Slayin foes day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living murder hobo's paradise...

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